A Transatlantic Evidentiary Enterprise — SWANK London LLC (USA) x SWANK London Ltd (UK)
✧ Filed with Deliberate Punctuation ✧
“Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back… she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.” - Aslan, C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Recently Tried in the Court of Public Opinion

PC-327v2: On Bureaucratic Fear as Safeguarding Policy.


⟡ The Candy Prohibition ⟡

Filed: 30 October 2025
Reference: SWANK/WCC–CFC/WELFARE–327v2
Download PDF: 2025-10-30_Core_PC-327v2_Westminster_WelfareConcern_ChildrenIsolationRestrictions.pdf
Summary: Westminster forbade children from riding bicycles, trick-or-treating, or feeling joy — citing imaginary nails in the candy and non-existent law.

I. What Happened

  • Foster carers informed the children they could not trick-or-treat because “there are nails in the candy.”

  • They were also told not to ride their bicycles or engage in “ordinary outdoor activities.”

  • Meanwhile, Westminster’s own narrative describes the mother as “overprotective” for encouraging safe community participation.

  • The hypocrisy is cinematic: restriction masquerading as protection, projection dressed as policy.

A government that once survived the Blitz has now outlawed Haribo.

II. What the Documents Establish

• That Westminster’s concept of safeguarding is indistinguishable from stage fright.
• That joy, spontaneity, and autonomy are now classed as safeguarding risks.
• That emotional deprivation has been bureaucratised.
• That the Council’s moral compass spins wildly between “risk assessment” and “folklore.”

III. Why SWANK Logged It

Because when the state confiscates childhood in the name of safety, it deserves a citation.
Because no civilisation should collapse under the weight of its own risk-assessment matrix.
Because the children of London are not test subjects in Westminster’s anxiety management programme.

IV. Applicable Standards & Violations

  • Children Act 1989 s.22(3)(a) — Duty to promote welfare.

  • Equality Act 2010 s.26 — Harassment related to disability and parental status.

  • UNCRC Art. 31 — Right of the child to play, rest, and recreation.

  • Human Rights Act 1998 Art. 8 — Family and private life.

  • Bromley, Family Law (11th ed.) — Distinction between safeguarding and surveillance.

V. SWANK’s Position

This is not “protective practice.”
This is institutional hypochondria — an empire terrified of its own shadows.

We do not accept Westminster’s infantilisation of family life.
We reject the doctrine that joy must be authorised in writing.
We document every absurdity until the archive itself becomes satire with jurisdiction.

⟡ Archival Seal ⟡

Every lollipop a lesson.
Every ban a confession.
Every paragraph a love letter to irony.

Because evidence deserves elegance — and overreach deserves ridicule with a citation.

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