๐ ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ Dispatch | 12 January 2025
ETHICS: A GUIDE FOR THE WOEFULLY UNDERQUALIFIED
(Also known as: The Curriculum You Never Received but Desperately Require)
๐ Filed From: Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
✒️ Author: Polly Chromatic
๐ Filed Under: Moral Education for State Agents · RBKC Value Deficiency Index · Behavioural Patterning Memo · Anti-Gaslight Correspondence · SWANK Ethical Emergency
๐ฌ Circulated To:
Glen Peache, Sarah Newman, Eric Wedge-Bull, Kirsty Hornal, Rhiannon Hodgson, Fiona Dias-Saxena, Rachel Pullen, Milena Abdula-Gomes, Samira Issa
Cc: aaforbes@gov.tc, alsmith@gov.tc, Annabelle Kapoor
Bcc: Laura Savage, Simon O’Meara, Philip Reid, Gideon Mpalanyi
✨ Ten Patterns of Ethical Behaviour for the Value-Deficient Professional
You claimed to need training.
I obliged.
Here lies the unsolicited induction course from your most persistent accountability specialist.
1. Honesty & Transparency
Admit fault. Name truth. Disclose what matters.
๐ณ If you’re redacting to self-protect, you’ve already disqualified yourself from service.
2. Fairness & Justice
Equal treatment ≠ equal failure.
๐ Cease targeting whistleblowers while coddling incompetence.
3. Respect for Others
Particularly the disabled. Especially the unafraid.
๐ง Try silence. It’s less oppressive than your standard interruptions.
4. Accountability
Forwarding isn't accountability. Nor is “noted.”
๐งพ If you can't carry the consequences, don't issue the decisions.
5. Altruism
Policy compliance is not compassion.
๐ธ Being paid to care is not the same as caring.
6. Confidentiality
Stop broadcasting family names in mixed-email chains.
๐ You’re not in reception gossip. You’re in statutory breach.
7. Courage
Draft the real minutes. Submit the real report.
๐ Integrity is not conditional on office consensus.
8. Humility
Learning is not beneath you. Though perhaps ethics are.
๐ฅ If you've never said sorry, you're overdue.
9. Environmental Responsibility
Respiratory harm counts too.
๐ซ If your visit induces breathlessness, you are not delivering support—you are delivering trauma.
10. Professional Integrity
Post-complaint edits are not policy—they're pathology.
๐ Start showing up like you're human, not rehearsed.
Polly Chromatic
Self-Appointed Ethics Instructor to the Bureaucratically Bewildered
๐ Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
๐ www.swankarchive.com
๐ง director@swanklondon.com
© SWANK London Ltd. All Moral Failures Annotated. All Behavioural Drift Logged.