🏆 THE STUPIDITY TRIUMVIRATE: SWANK’s Award for Procedural Genius in the Field of Harm
⟡ SWANK London Ltd. Evidentiary Archive
Filed: 9 July 2025
Reference Code: SWANK-PRIZE-0711-TRIO-STUPID
Filename: 2025-07-09_SWANK_StupidityAward_RBKC_WCC_StThomas.pdf
Summary: Celebrating the bureaucratic brilliance of three institutions that managed to escalate, retaliate, and destroy — all without fact-checking a single breath.
🥇 GRAND PRIZE
St Thomas’ Hospital (Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust)
For the breathtaking interpretation of 44% oxygen saturation as “intoxication.”
Their clinical acumen triggered an entire safeguarding case based on… a respiratory emergency.
Filed mistake:
A life-threatening asthma event
What they saw:
A drunk mother
What they failed to do:
Review basic vitals, consult respiratory history, or retrieve CCTV
SWANK Verdict:
"Medically negligent, procedurally arrogant, and now court-exposed."
🥈 RUNNER-UP
RBKC Children’s Services
For adopting the false hospital narrative with zero due diligence, and swiftly escalating to child protection… because the mother had “impaired speech” following sewer gas poisoning.
What they didn’t do:
Provide a Section 17 assessment
Verify hazard reports
Acknowledge disability disclosures
SWANK Verdict:
“They saw a vulnerable family and imagined risk — then made it real through interference.”
🥉 HONOURABLE MENTION
Westminster Children’s Services
For the coordinated retaliation after legal filings — plus an inspired finale: filing an EPO three days after a criminal referral and civil audit letter was received.
Most Outstanding Achievement:
Sudden inbox responsiveness the week before court
Pretending years of silence didn’t happen
SWANK Verdict:
“Performance art disguised as safeguarding.”
IV. Why This Matters
These three institutions have:
Built a case on a lie
Retaliated against lawful claimants
Ruined continuity of care for medically vulnerable children
And now face litigation across four jurisdictions
Let this be a cautionary tale for public bodies attempting to safeguard without scrutiny:
Stupidity is no longer protected by your letterhead.
⟡ SWANK London Ltd. Evidentiary Archive
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