“Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back… she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.” - Aslan, C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Showing posts with label Vocal Disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vocal Disability. Show all posts

If You Won’t Read, Don’t Expect Me to Speak.

 🖋 SWANK Dispatch | 15 December 2024

I’M NOT AVOIDING YOU. I’M AVOIDING COLLAPSE.

Filed From: Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
Author: Polly Chromatic

Filed Under: Vocal Disability, Email Neglect, Sewer Gas Illness, Communication Breakdown, Silent Collapse, Relational Fatigue, Misunderstood Accommodation

To: Kirsty Hornal
CC: Laura Savage, Simon O’Meara
Bcc: Those who read with care

Let me rephrase this for the bureaucratic imagination:
When I don’t speak, it’s not avoidance. It’s exhaustion.
When I don’t respond, it’s not neglect. It’s survival.

💬 DIRECT QUOTES FOR YOUR RECORD:

“It’s always been hard for me to talk due to asthma but recently my asthma is worse due to sewer gas poisoning and now I can barely talk and it’s getting worse because people keep trying to make me talk and won’t read my emails.”
“Calls are so hard for me for many reasons but mainly the talking issue.”
“I’m traumatised by people emailing me and then abandoning me like Simon and the psychiatrist did.”
“I’m afraid to read emails from people who haven’t read any of mine.”
“It’s evil.”

“I lose my voice after five minutes unless there’s a lot of gaps.”
“It’s exhausting and causes pain. My breathing decreases. Then I can’t talk to my kids.”

🧠 WHAT THIS MEANS:

  • I speak in writing because speaking aloud harms me.

  • I rest before and after any vocal interaction.

  • I have telepathic preferences, but for now, email will suffice.

  • I ask to be read, not judged.

  • I ask to be understood, not pathologised.

🗂️ AND YET:

The system escalates because I can’t talk.
The people I ask for help ignore my writing.
The ones who listen don’t act.
The ones who act don’t understand.

So the cycle feeds itself—until my voice breaks and my lungs give up.

📎 LET THIS BE PERMANENTLY FILED:

I am happy to communicate.
I am not able to perform communication on demand.
If you won’t read what I’ve written, you forfeit the right to ask why I’m silent.

Polly Chromatic
Documented. Disabled. Disillusioned by neglect.
📍 Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
🌐 www.swankarchive.com

Labels: Kirsty Hornal, email refusal, speech disability, sewer gas injury, asthma collapse, ignored communication, telepathic humour, Simon O’Meara, Laura Savage, vocal rest, institutional neglect, snobby, read-before-you-ask, breathing not speaking, parental priority

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