๐ ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ Dispatch | 23 January 2025
WHEN SILENCE IS SAFETY: PANIC, ABANDONMENT, AND THE PRICE OF TELLING THE TRUTH
๐ Filed From: Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
✒️ Author: Polly Chromatic
๐ Filed Under: Disability Communication · Verbal Panic Disorder · Medical Anxiety · Misinterpretation Trauma · Sewer Gas Aftermath · SWANK Emotional Survival Archive
To:
Kirsty Hornal
Cc: Laura Savage, Simon O'Meara, Philip Reid
Bcc: Nannette Nicholson
๐ฉ Your “Concern” Has Consequences
“If I do talk to anyone about any of this, they call social workers on me or abandon me completely—or both.”
This is not disclosure. This is entrapment.
You’ve institutionalised the fear of honesty.
You’ve turned expression into risk management.
What you call support, I now interpret as threat.
๐ง Panic Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s a Systemic Outcome.
“The panic attacks happen because I start feeling so alone, misunderstood, and attacked... it causes panic about my health.”
The root of panic is not irrationality.
It is institutional abandonment in a loop.
Your culture of misinterpretation creates the very symptoms you then pathologise.
Every “concerned” response is another unrequested escalation.
๐ฃ I Like Talking. I Just Can’t Survive It.
“I enjoy talking :/ … but emails and texts make me feel panicked now…”
Imagine liking to sing—
And choking on every lyric because the room is full of people who hate your voice.
That’s what you've built: a climate where communication is lethal.
I don’t avoid people. I avoid collapse.
Polly Chromatic
Not fragile. Just fatigued by your inability to listen.
๐ Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
๐ www.swankarchive.com
๐ง director@swanklondon.com
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