“Please Email Me a Letter” — Said 27 Times, Ignored Every One

 📚 SWANK Dispatch: Exhibit A — The Facebook Record That Should Have Been a Formal Letter

🗓️ 7 August 2020

Filed Under: homeschool obstruction, evidence of compliance, social work escalation, educational gatekeeping, digital documentation, policy evasion, truancy threats, legal overreach

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“The record was digital, the neglect was institutional.”
— A Mother With a Screenshot and a Syllabus

In this final escalation to Edgar Howell, Director of Education, Polly Chromatic didn’t just explain the past three years — she documented them. With timestamps. Screenshots. Email threads. And an unassailable transcript of evidence pulled directly from Facebook Messenger, lovingly titled Exhibit A.

What she revealed was not a story.
It was a bureaucratic slow-burn:
Approval dangled.
Letters promised.
Deadlines missed.
Children threatened.

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🧾 I. The Timeline Is Not Alleged. It’s Archived.

• 15 June 2017 – Initial message to Mark Garland via Facebook
• 26 June 2017 – In-person meeting at 3pm in Grand Turk
• 4 September 2017 – Mark finally requests her curriculum
• 10+ separate written requests asking for written homeschool confirmation
• Dozens of follow-up calls, messages, and apologies for non-response
• Multiple truancy threats, including from the truancy officer (Mr Kennedy)
• Zero formal letters received

All while she followed the UK curriculum and complied with every informal instruction.

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📉 II. Compliance Was Never the Problem — Communication Was

Polly:

“I am happy to adhere to whatever curriculum you want me to follow but I need to know what that is.”

Instead of clarity, she received:
• Vague emails
• Delayed replies
• Repetitive instructions
• And most devastatingly — continued harassment from the Department of Social Development for lack of a letter that had been promised but never sent.

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🧠 III. Digital Evidence vs Institutional Amnesia

Mark Garland:

“I will email you this evening.”
27 times — Noelle followed up.

What she got:
✓ Approval in conversation
✓ Repeated verbal acknowledgements
✗ No formal protection from truancy accusations
✗ No shielding from social work threats

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📌 Final Plea:

“Please, I am willing to do whatever is necessary to resolve this matter cooperatively.”

But cooperation is only possible when the institution holds up its end — and responds, formally, in writing, as promised.

SWANK has the receipts.
Exhibit A, archived.

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The Faecal Renaissance — How Compost, Consent, and Coherence Were Misread as Neglect

 🪴 SWANK Dispatch: The Dry Latrine Scandal — or, Why My Garden Offends the Uninformed

🗓️ 26 March 2020

Filed Under: environmental miseducation, eco-classism, aesthetic policing, colonial sanitation bias, home education interference, garden gatekeeping, social work incursion

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“What you mistake for a mess is a curriculum.”
— A Mother Who Reads Steiner, Not Daily Mail

Dearest Viewer of Faecal Futures,

It seems that the mere sight of decomposing mulch and unflushed virtue is enough to summon the bureaucratic clergy of Church Folly — those disciples of the Department of Social Development, whose doctrine worships porcelain, chlorinated illusions, and short-notice condemnation.

On this sovereign date, the 26th of March, 2020, I, Polly Chromatic, located at 12 Palm Grove, penned a letter whose dignity clearly surpassed the comprehension of its addressee. Let us dissect.

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🌍 I. Compost is Not a Crime, Darling

When one chooses Hügelkultur over hydroflush — a mound of intention over a pit of convenience — it appears one's intelligence becomes suspicious. Never mind that Turks and Caicos relies on desalinated water, an energy-guzzling atrocity that flushes potable hope down the loo. Never mind the biocentric and ecocentric reasoning, or that 800 gallons of fresh water are wasted monthly by standard toilets.

No, the real scandal is that my garden wasn’t finished yet — and social work prefers aesthetic completion to intellectual rigour.

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📚 II. The Curriculum They Can’t Control

My children weren’t neglected.
They were being educated.

Not via tick-box worksheets, but through soil systems, microorganisms, nitrogen cycles, and—oh yes—the right to live sustainably on our own land. The garden was both pedagogical and philosophical. But the social worker didn’t bring a clipboard to learn. She came to correct.

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👩‍🏫 III. I Am Not Available for Unannounced Judgement

Shocking though it may be to the Church Folly sect, mothers who teach are not on-call exhibits. Would they storm a classroom mid-lesson and interrogate a schoolteacher about her bins? Unlikely.

Yet that’s precisely what they did here.

Let it be stated clearly:
“I need to be treated with the same respect that you would treat a school teacher.”
Because I am one. Without the salary. Without the pension. But with the integrity.

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💌 Final Note:

Unscheduled visits are not only invasive — they are pedagogically incoherent and emotionally destabilising. If you'd like to understand what we’re doing, book an appointment. Bring tea. Bring questions. Bring curiosity.

Leave the clipboard.

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My Lungs Are Not a Safeguarding Risk.

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⟡ You Didn’t Understand My Asthma. So I Filed the Science for You. ⟡

Filed: 30 June 2020
Reference: SWANK/TCI/2020-ASTHMA-DEFENCE
📎 Download PDF — 2020-06-30_SWANK_TCI_SocialDev_AsthmaDisability_ProtectionLetter_CDC_NHS_Kennedy.pdf

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I. This Letter Was Not Written to Explain. It Was Written to Stop the Harassment.

This formal letter to TCI Social Development outlines, in controlled rage and evidentiary precision, what the department refused to learn:

• That Eosinophilic Asthma is a clinically diagnosed, life-threatening condition

• That repeated contact, stress, and forced compliance constitute medical aggression

• That shielding households are not invisible — they are protected

• That the state’s refusal to understand a disability does not erase the disability

This is not a complaint.
It is a legal respiratory boundary, dressed in CDC citations and maternal force.

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II. What They Called Defiance Was Self-Protection

This document provides:

• Full citations from the CDC, NHS, and international respiratory guidelines

• A list of symptoms, risks, and history of state-induced exacerbation

• A direct reference to Officer Kennedy, whose conduct triggered this protective response

• A clear statement of refusal, grounded in the law, the lungs, and lived experience

Let the record show:

They accused the mother of “non-engagement.”
She replied — with immunology.

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III. Why SWANK Filed It

Because no parent should have to explain their airway to a bureaucrat.
Because forced engagement isn’t just procedural — it’s physical risk.
Because when the state cannot distinguish safeguarding from endangerment,
we submit the science in PDF.

Let the record show:

• The asthma was real

• The danger was documented

• The refusal was lawful

• The letter — was filed, not requested

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IV. SWANK’s Position

We do not negotiate with institutions that confuse illness for attitude.
We do not permit repeated intrusion into medically shielded spaces.
We do not allow safeguarding officers to weaponise their own ignorance.

Let the record show:

The child was not neglected.
The mother was not unstable.
The air was not optional.
And SWANK — filed the oxygen boundary for them.

This is not health education.
It is a clinical cease and desist — with receipts.

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