🖋 𝒮𝒲𝒜𝒩𝒦 Dispatch | 12 January 2025
ETHICS: A GUIDE FOR THE WOEFULLY UNDERQUALIFIED
(Also known as: The Curriculum You Never Received but Desperately Require)
📍 Filed From: Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
✒️ Author: Polly Chromatic
🗂 Filed Under: Moral Education for State Agents · RBKC Value Deficiency Index · Behavioural Patterning Memo · Anti-Gaslight Correspondence · SWANK Ethical Emergency
📬 Circulated To:
Glen Peache, Sarah Newman, Eric Wedge-Bull, Kirsty Hornal, Rhiannon Hodgson, Fiona Dias-Saxena, Rachel Pullen, Milena Abdula-Gomes, Samira Issa
Cc: aaforbes@gov.tc, alsmith@gov.tc, Annabelle Kapoor
Bcc: Laura Savage, Simon O’Meara, Philip Reid, Gideon Mpalanyi
✨ Ten Patterns of Ethical Behaviour for the Value-Deficient Professional
You claimed to need training.
I obliged.
Here lies the unsolicited induction course from your most persistent accountability specialist.
1. Honesty & Transparency
Admit fault. Name truth. Disclose what matters.
🕳 If you’re redacting to self-protect, you’ve already disqualified yourself from service.
2. Fairness & Justice
Equal treatment ≠ equal failure.
📉 Cease targeting whistleblowers while coddling incompetence.
3. Respect for Others
Particularly the disabled. Especially the unafraid.
🎧 Try silence. It’s less oppressive than your standard interruptions.
4. Accountability
Forwarding isn't accountability. Nor is “noted.”
🧾 If you can't carry the consequences, don't issue the decisions.
5. Altruism
Policy compliance is not compassion.
💸 Being paid to care is not the same as caring.
6. Confidentiality
Stop broadcasting family names in mixed-email chains.
🔒 You’re not in reception gossip. You’re in statutory breach.
7. Courage
Draft the real minutes. Submit the real report.
🎙 Integrity is not conditional on office consensus.
8. Humility
Learning is not beneath you. Though perhaps ethics are.
🥀 If you've never said sorry, you're overdue.
9. Environmental Responsibility
Respiratory harm counts too.
🌫 If your visit induces breathlessness, you are not delivering support—you are delivering trauma.
10. Professional Integrity
Post-complaint edits are not policy—they're pathology.
📚 Start showing up like you're human, not rehearsed.
Polly Chromatic
Self-Appointed Ethics Instructor to the Bureaucratically Bewildered
📍 Flat 22, 2 Periwinkle Gardens, London W2
🌐 www.swankarchive.com
📧 director@swanklondon.com
© SWANK London Ltd. All Moral Failures Annotated. All Behavioural Drift Logged.