After the Fungus: What a Human Feels Like Post-Exorcism
29 May 2025
✨ You don’t realise how infected you were…
until you taste your own self again.
Not the fermented performance of who-you-thought-you-had-to-be.
But the clear broth of your original frequency.
This is what a human feels like
after a fungal exorcism.
1. Sober Joy.
Not the ✦manic sparkle✦ of sugar spikes or trauma-glittered lust.
Not cheerfulness with a side of collapse.
But joy.
💫 Cellular joy.
🧬 Fascia joy.
The kind that hums even when no one is watching.
2. Peace Without Explaining.
There is no internal courtroom.
No jury of imaginary critics.
You say no,
and the world doesn't end.
You don’t collapse into a faux apology.
You just... exist.
3. Spaciousness.
Time stops panting.
Your breath returns home.
Urgency loses its glamour.
You are no longer the emergency.
4. Sharp Senses.
You taste again.
Smell again.
Feel the exact temperature of silence.
You notice birds.
Cry at clouds.
Not because you're sensitive—
But because the static is gone.
The world got audible.
5. Erotic Integrity.
Your desire stops leaking.
It doesn’t come from ache.
It doesn’t chase ghosts.
💋 You don’t perform.
💋 You don’t contort.
💋 You don’t self-abandon to feel “wanted.”
Your turn-on is clean.
Your body is sovereign.
6. Loving Without Merging.
You don’t sink into their wounds.
You don’t sponge up their shame.
You don’t carry their chaos just to feel “close.”
You love
from the edge of your own skin.
7. No More Echoes.
No more replays.
No courtroom dreams.
No waking up with the phantom scent of your abuser’s breath.
The ghost wasn’t memory.
It was mould.
And it’s been evicted.
8. Decisive Silence.
You stop narrating your worth.
You stop texting your proof-of-existence.
Your silence doesn’t mean
“gone.”
It means:
I am here. Entirely.
9. Warm. Not Damp.
You nourish.
You radiate.
But you do not rot.
You are not a sponge for ancestral mildew.
You are sunlight.
☼
With a door.
10. You Remember: You Are Not a Resource.
Not a resource for their healing.
Not a resource for their loneliness.
Not a resource for their denial.
You are not their moist salvation.
You are:
a field.
a being.
a sovereign signal.
The fungus isn’t your shadow.
It’s your mimic.
Once it leaves:
– Your feelings are clean.
– Your thoughts are yours.
– Your body is no longer their habitat.
This is not a detox.
This is a rebirth.
This is SWANK.