⟡ The Gospel of Nails and Candy ⟡
Filed: 30 October 2025
Reference: SWANK/WCC–CFC/WELFARE–327
Download PDF: 2025-10-30_Core_PC-327_Westminster_WelfareConcern_ChildrenIsolationRestrictions.pdf
Summary: Westminster’s foster carers prohibited Halloween and bicycles, citing “nails in the candy” — and in doing so, invented the first officially sanctioned phobia.
I. What Happened
The children were forbidden from trick-or-treating because, allegedly, “there are nails in the candy.”
They were also told not to ride bicycles, play outdoors, or behave like the living.
These new austerity measures in joy were implemented by Westminster’s own placements, under a narrative accusing the mother of being “overprotective.”
The result: the children’s emotional wellbeing was traded for bureaucratic folklore.
The state has become the anxious parent it imagines in others.
II. What the Document Establishes
• That Westminster has successfully outsourced its anxiety to its foster carers.
• That “safeguarding” has been redefined as “sterilisation of childhood.”
• That the phrase “nails in the candy” now joins “due process” and “data protection” as ceremonial excuses for doing nothing.
• That institutional hypocrisy is now policy art.
III. Why SWANK Logged It
Because the archive must record the moment the Council mistook imagination for evidence.
Because the bureaucracy that bans candy will one day ban laughter.
Because the human race must never again confuse procedural fear with protection.
IV. Applicable Standards & Violations
Children Act 1989 s.22(3)(a) — Duty to promote welfare (apparently optional).
Equality Act 2010 s.26 — Harassment linked to disability and parental status.
Human Rights Act 1998 Art. 8 — Right to family life and normal childhood experience.
UNCRC Art. 31 — Right of the child to rest, leisure, play, and participation in cultural life.
V. SWANK’s Position
This is not “risk management.”
This is government by ghost story.
We do not accept Westminster’s sanctimony masquerading as safeguarding.
We reject its preference for myth over medicine, rumour over relationship.
We shall continue to document every absurdity until the term “reasonable authority” once again has meaning.
⟡ Archival Seal ⟡
Every ban a confession.
Every policy a parody.
Every official explanation a short story in denial.
Because evidence deserves elegance — and bureaucracy deserves ridicule in gilt.