“Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back… she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.” - Aslan, C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Recently Tried in the Court of Public Opinion

Chromatic v Gossip – On the Weaponisation of Neighbourhood Pettiness and the State’s Willing Participation



🚧 The Fence Was Not the Problem — Your Job Performance Was

⟡ A Formal Complaint Regarding False Reports, Pandemic Recklessness, and the Spectacular Failure to Discern a Well-Run Home from Gossip

IN THE MATTER OF: Investigations That Won’t End, Reports That Shouldn’t Have Begun, and the Invisible Line Between Safeguarding and Harassment


⟡ METADATA

Filed: 13 July 2020
Reference Code: SWANK-TCI-FALSE-REPORTS-COVID-RISK
Court File Name: 2020-07-13_Records_AshleyAdamsComplaintFalseReportsAndCOVIDRisk
Summary: A formal, incisive, and morally immaculate letter to the Department of Social Development, requesting that someone finally do their job with logic, medical literacy, and a basic sense of proportion. Written during the COVID-19 pandemic, this document calls out: false allegations, pandemic violations, sexist communication routes, neighbour-instigated state harm, and the exhausting absurdity of being punished for homeschooling brilliantly.


I. What Happened

After a year-long "investigation" sparked by a tantrum-prone fence-builder and a hostile Airbnb host named Jenny, Polly Chromatic (then using her legal name) was still being monitored without plan, outcome, or lawful process. Despite having no safeguarding concerns of merit, officials continued to drop in, interrupt homeschooling, and — in one outrageous instance — trespassed on her property during the COVID-19 pandemic, despite her medical condition and clear objection. This letter lays it all out: calmly, precisely, and without one wasted word.


II. What the Complaint Establishes

  • That the initiating reports were fabricated and retaliatory, based on petty neighbour feuds

  • That the children were (and are) fully vaccinated, lawfully educated, and thriving

  • That the department failed to issue any written outcome or plan over a full year of “investigation”

  • That gendered disrespect occurred, with professionals avoiding direct dialogue with the mother in favour of speaking to her husband

  • That pandemic-era safety protocols were flagrantly ignored, putting the mother at serious medical risk

  • That the family’s peaceful, routine-centred homeschooling was repeatedly disrupted with no justification


III. Why SWANK Logged It

Because this letter is the paper equivalent of a velvet restraining order against nonsense. Because one should not need to explain to a government department that gossip isn’t evidence, asthma isn’t optional, and children waving to neighbours is not a cause for alarm. Because if a social worker cannot distinguish abuse from compost, routine from risk, or privacy from pathology — they have no business being in the field.


IV. Violations

  • Procedural abuse: failure to close or clarify an open “case” after 12 months

  • Disability discrimination: entering the home of a clinically vulnerable person during COVID against consent

  • Gender bias: repeatedly bypassing the mother in official communication

  • Safeguarding theatre: treating a functioning home as suspicious because it lacked conventional aesthetics

  • Emotional harm: persistent disruption of children’s educational routine based on nothing but rumour


V. SWANK’s Position

We log this complaint as a master record of bureaucratic trespass and maternal restraint. SWANK London Ltd. affirms:

  • That safeguarding is not a replacement for common sense

  • That a mother with four vaccinated children and a compost bin is not the crisis here

  • That repeatedly entering the home of someone with severe asthma during a pandemic is both dangerous and demented

  • And that if your system allows one neighbour to trigger 12 months of state interference with no findings, then your system is the safeguarding concern


⟡ This Dispatch Has Been Formally Archived by SWANK London Ltd. ⟡ Every entry is timestamped. Every sentence is jurisdictional. Every structure is protected. To mimic this format without licence is not homage. It is breach. We do not permit imitation. We preserve it as evidence. This is not a blog. This is a legal-aesthetic instrument. Filed with velvet contempt, preserved for future litigation. Because evidence deserves elegance. And retaliation deserves an archive. © 2025 SWANK London Ltd. All formatting and structural rights reserved. Use requires express permission or formal licence. Unlicensed mimicry will be cited — as panic, not authorship.

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