“Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back… she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.” - Aslan, C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Recently Tried in the Court of Public Opinion

Chromatic v Bureaucratic Incompetence: On the Procedural Evolution of a Woman Who Was Ignored One Too Many Times


You Didn’t Like My Emails, So I Founded a Company

Or: On the Bureaucratic Consequences of Ignoring a Literate Woman

They said I was emailing too much.
They said I was difficult to manage, uncooperative, unresponsive — or excessively responsive, depending on the hour.
They said they couldn’t keep up.

So I did the civilised thing:
I founded a company.
I registered it. I named it SWANK.
I gave it a filing structure. I gave it a signature line.
And I turned every ignored complaint, every unanswered email, every concern they failed to act on —
into a public evidentiary archive.

Now, instead of wondering if they’ll read what I send,
they can simply subscribe to the record of their own misconduct.

Welcome to the procedural backlash

They asked for silence.
I gave them timestamped exhibition.

They refused accountability.
I gave them index numbers, case references, and jurisdictional footnotes.

They called me unstable.
I responded with metadata.

This isn’t personal. It’s administrative.

You don’t want my emails? Fine.
Now the world can read them.

You don’t want my complaints in your inbox?
Now they’re in your search results, your court files, and your legacy.

Because when you ignore a mother who writes like a lawyer,
and harass a woman who reads faster than your entire department,
what you end up with…
is a public archive of your own incompetence —
professionally formatted, legally structured, and aggressively alphabetised.

Polly Chromatic
Founder, Director, Chief Executive of “I Told You So”

⟡ This Dispatch Has Been Formally Archived by SWANK London Ltd. ⟡ Every entry is timestamped. Every sentence is jurisdictional. Every structure is protected. To mimic this format without licence is not homage. It is breach. We do not permit imitation. We preserve it as evidence. This is not a blog. This is a legal-aesthetic instrument. Filed with velvet contempt, preserved for future litigation. Because evidence deserves elegance. And retaliation deserves an archive. © 2025 SWANK London Ltd. All formatting and structural rights reserved. Use requires express permission or formal licence. Unlicensed mimicry will be cited — as panic, not authorship.

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