“Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back… she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.” - Aslan, C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

What Is Triangulation?

What Is Triangulation?

Triangulation occurs when a third party is inserted — consciously or unconsciously — into a two-person relationship in a way that distorts communication, loyalty, or emotional clarity.

Instead of two people relating directly and honestly, an outside force begins to shape how one person sees the other.

And once the triangle is formed, trust erodes silently.


Common Forms of Triangulation:

  1. Family Triangulation: A parent, sibling, or relative whispers disapproval, spreads doubt, or projects cultural shame. The partner stops responding to you and starts reacting to them.
  2. E.g., “I can’t bring you around my family because they wouldn’t understand.”
  3. Friend-Based Triangulation: A friend inserts opinions, warnings, or comparisons — often under the guise of caring.
  4. E.g., “My friends think you’re too emotional,” becomes the unspoken script.
  5. Social Worker/Institutional Triangulation: The system builds a narrative that replaces your voice, and others begin treating you through that lens.
  6. E.g., “They said you might not be safe,” even when there’s no evidence.
  7. Passive Triangulation: A person withholds affection or clarity from you while seeking validation or influence from someone else, causing you to feel unstable and unseen.


The Psychological Impact:

  1. You begin second-guessing your reality
  2. You feel like you’re in competition with a shadow version of yourself
  3. You are punished not for what you did, but for how you were portrayed
  4. The person in the middle acts “neutral” but their silence sides with the distortion
  5. You become emotionally exiled — the connection weakens without explanation


What Makes It So Dangerous:

  1. Triangulation doesn’t require lies — just suggestion, tone, silence, or implication
  2. The person allowing triangulation often refuses to admit it’s happening
  3. It preserves their image while destroying your relationship


The Cure? Directness. And refusal.

The only way to break triangulation is to:

  1. Name it — clearly and calmly
  2. Refuse to participate
  3. Withdraw if necessary, especially when your truth is no longer welcome

No comments:

Post a Comment

This archive is a witness table, not a control panel.

We do not moderate comments. We do, however, read them, remember them, and occasionally reframe them for satirical or educational purposes.

If you post here, you’re part of the record.

Civility is appreciated. Candour is immortal.

Documented Obsessions