A self-assessment for adults unsure whether they’ve become intellectually constipated.

A self-assessment for adults unsure whether they’ve become intellectually constipated.

SWANK Self-Diagnostic Quiz

“Are You Still Capable of Learning?”

A Diagnostic Tool for the Overconfident, the Overcredentialed, and the Over It

Instructions:

Please answer honestly. (Yes, we know that’s hard for some of you.)

Choose the option that best describes your instinctive behaviour—not what you wish were true.

1. When someone uses a word you don’t know, you…

A) Interrupt them to correct the word you think they meant

B) Nod politely, look it up later, and add it to your verbal arsenal

C) Feel embarrassed and change the subject

D) Say, “What does that mean?” and wait with anticipation

2. You’re invited to try something you’ve never done before. Your first thought is…

A) “What if I’m bad at it?”

B) “Can I get certified?”

C) “Not my thing.”

D) “Ooh, what happens if I am bad at it?”

3. How often do you admit, out loud, that you don’t know something?

A) Rarely. I don’t want to seem unprepared.

B) Only when I’m with close friends or small animals.

C) I disguise it with sarcasm.

D) Daily. Hourly. It’s freeing.

4. Someone younger than you explains a concept you already understand. You…

A) Interrupt to re-explain it better.

B) Let them speak, but feel slightly smug.

C) Find a way to mention your degree.

D) Listen. You might learn something new from their framing.

5. Your idea of learning is…

A) Memorising facts for a future conversation in which you win.

B) Reading books you already agree with.

C) Listening to podcasts while scrolling Instagram.

D) Making mistakes in public, recovering, and becoming more interesting.

6. When you encounter conflicting information, you…

A) Immediately try to prove which side is “right.”

B) Pick the one that confirms your worldview.

C) Spiral into existential doubt and eat bread.

D) Sit with it. Contradiction is fertile ground.

7. Do you believe that growth is…

A) For children and therapy clients

B) Exhausting but necessary

C) Something you once did in your 20s

D) Non-negotiable and often inconvenient

Scoring Guide:

1. Mostly A’s:
   
2. “Certainty Syndrome” – You’ve replaced curiosity with competence cosplay. You need a digital detox, a child to imitate, and possibly a sabbatical from yourself.
3. Mostly B’s:
   
4. “Recovering Academic” – You flirt with curiosity, but still seek approval. Try asking stupid questions in public. It’s good for the skin.
5. Mostly C’s:
   
6. “Spiritually Tired” – You’ve internalised failure avoidance and branded it as self-knowledge. Time to try something new and fail gloriously.
7. Mostly D’s:
   
8. “Active Learner, Untamed and Glorious” – You are what education should have been. Unruly, evolving, deliciously unembarrassed. Your kind is rare. Stay that way.

Bonus Activity:

Take a child, a goat, or yourself into nature. Learn one thing you didn’t plan to. Get it wrong. Fix it. Brag about the process, not the result.