⚖ WRITTEN COMMUNICATION STATEMENT
Filed Under: Procedural Protection / Disability Adjustment Directive
Prepared by:
π«ππππ ππ½ππππΆππΎπΈ
Curator-in-Chief, SWANK London Ltd.
Updated: June 2025
π To Whom It May (Attempt to) Concern:
Let this serve as both formal declaration and procedural barricade:
I, Polly Chromatic, do not engage in voice-based communication.
This includes, without exception:
— Telephone
— Video calls
— In-person exchanges
This is not a quirk.
It is a medically grounded, legally protected, and irrevocably asserted disability adjustment.
π©Ί Basis of Adjustment
Voice-based contact is clinically incompatible with the following documented conditions:
• Eosinophilic Asthma — exacerbated by sustained verbal exertion
• Muscle Tension Dysphonia — impairs speech and vocal recovery
• Trauma-Induced Panic Disorder — triggered by coercive, unscheduled, or forced verbal contact
To speak is to suffer.
To be compelled to speak is to be erased.
π The Policy Is as Follows:
All communication — without exception — must be:
Written. Timestamped. Archivally preservable.
This policy applies to:
• All correspondence with SWANK London Ltd.
• All legal, procedural, or medical matters
• Any engagement under the pretext of safeguarding, service, or assessment
There will be:
• No verbal accommodations
• No negotiations
• No excuses
Any attempt to override this policy will be documented as disability harassment and procedural misconduct.
πͺ Mirror Court Clause
If your professional role depends on phone calls, surprise visits, or “catching people on the line” —
you are hereby notified that your methods are incompatible with trauma-conscious, access-compliant procedure.
You may wish to reconsider your role in public service.
Or, at the very least, reread the Equality Act 2010.
Respectfully within reason,
π«ππππ ππ½ππππΆππΎπΈ
Director, SWANK London Ltd.
✉️ director@swanklondon.com
π www.swanklondon.com
© SWANK London Ltd.
All Conversations Must Be Typed™
A courtroom designed by Alexander McQueen.
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