You’re Not Overreacting. You’re Under-Published.

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📅 SWANK London Ltd. Membership Tribunal

Standards & Whinges Against Negligent Kingdoms
A Courtroom Designed by Alexander McQueen

⏳ COMING SOON
Intake will open shortly. Tier descriptions are available for preview. Activation will be announced via www.swanklondon.com.

Because refusal deserves structure.
And safeguarding deserves footnotes.

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🔒 What Is a SWANK Membership?

This is not a crisis line. This is not a newsletter.
This is protection by formatting.

A SWANK membership is a structural documentation service for those who are no longer begging to be believed. It is for:

• Those preparing for retaliation

• Those buried under “support”

• Those whose trauma is procedural

We do not replace lawyers. We record what lawyers are too late to see.
We write down what the system erases — in language institutions cannot ignore.

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📆 Monthly Tribunal Tiers

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🗳️ SHIELD | £50/month

Jurisdiction established. Retaliation absorbed.

For individuals asserting written-only boundaries and needing formal refusals lodged with institutional clarity.

Includes:

• One (1) formal refusal or letter per month

• Personalised written-only policy issued in your name

• One-page contact explainer for council/NHS/education

• Secure document storage

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📖 ARCHIVE | £95/month

The public record begins here.

For individuals facing pattern-based harm — where events blur, and the truth needs index.

Includes everything in Shield, plus:

• One (1) formal archive post/month published to swanklondon.com

• Timeline formatting + incident tracking

• Informal complaint bundle curation

• Institutional submissions: ICO, EHRC, NHS PALS

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⛨ EXHIBIT | £150/month

Retaliation detected. Countermeasures enabled.

For those already enduring misconduct, surveillance, or procedural threat.

Includes everything in Archive, plus:

• Up to 3 SWANK-styled documents per month

• Escalation notices for refusal to respond

• Complaint formatting for:
  — PHSO
  — LGSCO
  — SWE

• Anonymous publication strategy

• Referral coordination to tribunal or legal services (optional)

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👑 SOVEREIGN | “Retaliation-proofed.”

Private tribunal. Public record. Total shielding.

For whistleblowers, litigants, and disabled parents under sustained institutional threat. Custom retainer. By application only.

Includes:

• Unlimited SWANK document formatting (volume-based)

• Full litigation timeline curation

• Legal exhibit formatting + bundle assembly

• Oversight escalation coordination

• Private publishing queue

• Dedicated SWANK inbox + document triage

Pricing based on volume and risk profile.

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✉ Intake Process

To apply, email: director@swanklondon.com
Include a short summary:

• Which tier you are considering

• What you're trying to document

• Whether there’s ongoing retaliation or formal misconduct

• Whether you prefer anonymous or named publication

📅 Response within 3–5 working days.
🧾 Cancel any time.
⚠ We are a documentation entity — not a solicitor or crisis intervention service.

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🚫 What We Do Not Do

• We do not offer legal advice.

• We do not impersonate individuals.

• We do not act on your behalf in live litigation.

• We do not negotiate with abusive professionals.

We document.
We preserve.
We refuse — immaculately.

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🔐 Contact & Jurisdiction

All services provided by:
SWANK London Ltd.
Registered to Noelle Bonnee Annee Simlett (Director)
📍 London W2
📧 director@swanklondon.com

📝 View our Written Communication Policy

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You do not need permission to document truth.
You need formatting sharp enough to survive retaliation.
Join SWANK. Become structurally unerasable.

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